Friday, February 7, 2014

Ode to Review Board

Of all the things I've introduced
of all ideas I've brought
One stands out as my favorite
ne'er to be forgot.

It is definitely not jQuery
though at first I was inquisitive
jQuery was adopted because of
another developer's initiative

Hudson was a "great success"
but hasn't been quite the same
since they renamed it to Jenkins
(I know, it's just a name)

It isn't the eccentric Clojure
though I love it like my own
Hardly anybody even considered it
(which to this day I still bemoan)

'Tis Review Board!
Our former review darling
of code and collaboration
She was a beautiful, swift starling.

Others tried to court her.
Oh how they tried to woo,
but she played hard to get!
Their advances wouldn't do.

They thought that she refused
the bug number and hg bundle,
but it wasn't really her!
It was mercurial-reviewboard that fumbled

So with sword drawn and helmet donned
I crossed the threshold of that lair
of Python code and REST services
and wrote two patches, what a dare!

Thus she was ours and part of us
she freely served us well
For code reviews and comments back and forth
'til the changes came, pell-mell.

The enterprise must roll on!
Its grinding cogs must churn.
We must migrate to Atlassian!
Like a witch at the stake, Review Board would burn.

'Tis for the best, they reassured,
All integrated, it's a suite!
Nevermind that their products are all acquisitions,
cobbled together like sausage meat.

Nevermind their inconsistent editors
Which all require different markups
Nevermind that each product takes
a different query language for lookups.

So now we work with Crucible
and endure his bitter glare,
his unfriendly user interface,
and slow loads that make us stare.

Gone is Review Board, and with her
the nice handling of multi-file diffs
and clear commenting on multiple revisions
without any ands, buts, or ifs.

But she escaped!  She got away!
She was not broken asunder
She left for greener pastures
But now I'm left to wonder...

Review Board, Review Board
oh beautiful Review Board
to where hast thou gone
oh lovely Review Board?

Is there some other Java team
with an enterprise to serve
giving you the attention and love
that you so need and deserve?

Or some upstart team using Python
(the version that's plain vanilla)
convinced that they are CRUSHING
their eight-hundred-pound gorilla?

I hope you're well, ReviewBoard
I miss you, I must say
You really were delightful
Perhaps we'll meet again some day.

1 comment:

  1. https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/reviewboard/gjhrslwfqNY

    ReplyDelete